Nobody's Side
by frenchpiment
Summary: Oneshot Song fic where Hermione reflects on her relationships. HGDM and HGRW. Please R&R.


_a/n: this is a oneshot song fic that just popped into my head. It is in Hermione's point of view and hopefully all is explained in the story. The song is Nobody's Side from the musical 'Chess.' Hope you enjoy it._

_Disclaimer: JK owns everything Harry Potter related, the Guys from Abba own the song._

**NOBODY'S SIDE**

**What's going on around me  
Is barely making sense  
I need some explanations fast  
I see my present partner  
In the imperfect tense  
And I don't see how we can last  
I feel I need a change of cast  
Maybe I'm on nobody's side**

What the hell was I thinking? Seriously; I need to see a therapist. I actually managed to convince myself that I was in love with Draco Malfoy, that he wasn't lying when he said he loved me, and that sneaking around behind Ron's back was okay. I never actually thought that Ron was in love with me. I knew I was just a second compared to Fleur. Yes it's weird and creepy, but Ron was actually in love with his older brother's fiancée. Not just a weird veela crush, he actually told Harry (who of course told me) that he was in love with her. I shudder at the thought of the wedding. _Any objections? Please speak now of forever hold your peace…well actually Bill…_God it would be a disaster.

**And when he gives me reasons  
To justify each move  
They're getting harder to believe  
I know this can't continue  
I've still a lot to prove  
There must be more I could achieve  
But I don't have the nerve to leave**

And there I go again. Getting continually sidetracked and taking the focus (I know it's my own focus but still) off my own screwed up situation and focusing on the bad aspects of Ron. I know I should be focusing on the fact that I am a cheating whore of a girl friend, but still, being in love with you brother's girlfriend. Ew. He has told me numerous times that the only reason he is such a dope around her is the veela blood, but if I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times. You don't see Harry falling all in love with her and swooning all over the place. But again I digress.

I have to say, I've obviously liked Draco heaps longer than Ron. I've been dating (shudder) Ron for three months is it, but I've obviously had a thing for Draco for ages. It's been coming on so slowly I can hardly place it, but I guess I knew I really liked him that time when it was raining in Hogsmeade. And I know I've loved him ever since he threw that piece of liver at Ron in potions. Is it a little odd that I'm in love with a guy who throws body parts at my present boyfriend? The problem is I just don't have the courage to walk up to Ron and say "Hey we've been dating for three months, but I'm actually in love with Draco Malfoy, who incidentally you _already_ hate and we've been sneaking around behind your back for the past two months". Also, (and be prepared for me to sound like a bitch) but I don't know if I could hack it, my relationship with Draco out in the public eye.

**Everybody's playing the game  
But nobody's rules are the same  
Nobody's on nobody's side  
Better learn to go it alone  
Recognize you're out on your own  
Nobody's on nobody's side  
**It's a horrible convoluted shit situation. I'm dating Ron, who is in love with Fleur, his brother's fiancée, meanwhile, I'm in love with Draco, who supposedly loves me back, however he is dating Pansy (who I think, but I'm not 100 sure is cheating on him with Theodore Nott). Seriously, I think the best thing to do in this situation is to cover my own ass and protect myself. But then I sound like a total selfish cow.

**The one I should not think of  
Keeps rolling through my mind  
And I don't want to let that go  
No lover's ever faithful  
No contract truly signed  
There's nothing certain left to know  
And how the cracks begin to show**

Ok. I would love it if I could just stop thinking about Draco and then I would be out of the woods. Of course there is the problem that I'm absolutely infatuated with him. I think about him _all the time_ and I dream about him practically every night. However you know there is something really wrong when you not only dream about someone, you dream about thinking about them as well. I know I know, I'm sick, I need a shrink blah blah blah. However if I think about it, what I have with Draco, shows me exactly what I don't have with Ron. I'm with Ron because a) everyone expected it and b) he asked me and I was like _meh._ When I'm with Draco I am totally myself, I can do anything in front of him, I can say whatever is on my mind, and he won't care. With Ron I constantly have to think about what I'm saying first because otherwise he quite probably won't understand it. Don't get me wrong, Ron is great, just a little simple. At least Draco is my intellectual equal.

**Never make a promise or plan  
Take a little love when you can  
Nobody's on nobody's side  
Never stay too long in your bed  
Never lose your heart, use your head  
Nobody's on nobody's side**

I really need to learn how to seize the day and all that crap. You know…make the most of what you've got. Live each day to the full. All that cliché junk. I should just go to Ron, break up with him and then after a respectable period of time, go public with Draco. Of course he has to tell Pansy (who might be glad of an easy out) and if I tell everyone that I'm in love with Draco I face almost definite exclusion from any Gryffindor friends (and seeing as my only other friend is Luna…I don't really want to go there). It's a total cliché, the Gryffindors hating one of their own for consorting with Slytherins, but it happens nonetheless. Just look at what happened when Lavender had that fling with Zabini. She was ignored until he dumped her for Hannah Abbot.   
**Never take a stranger's advice  
Never let a friend fool you twice  
Nobody's on nobody's side  
Everybody's playing the game  
But nobody's rules are the same  
Nobody's on nobody's side**

I should have thought this through before I went and fell head over heels for Draco, but hey, I wasn't thinking with my brain. I mean I know you only really think with your brain, but I was ignoring the logical part of me and letting my heart lead me. God, I can't believe I just said that. It seems all I can do today is talk in clichés. I just need to think this through clearly and hopefully I will have things sorted out. Ron doesn't love me so if I break it off with him, he'll get over it. Draco supposedly loves me, so he should be happy to break up with Pansy. Then if he really does love me, we can go public. I'll just have to risk becoming a Gryffindor outcast. I'm obviously not a Slytherin I'll just become a no-man's-land-girl. If that even exists.  
**Never leave a moment too soon  
Never waste a hot afternoon  
Nobody's on nobody's side  
Never stay a minute too long  
Don't forget the best will go wrong  
Nobody's on nobody'side**

I'll just be neutral ground. If Ron and Harry still talk to me (Ron debateable, Harry still should) then that's two friends I will have. Ginny should still be my friend, ever since she and Harry _finally_ got together she has been on cloud nine and loves everyone. I just have to take a chance, I can't waste any time. You never know, everything could go pear shaped tomorrow, Voldemort could attack the school we could all be murdered in our beds.   
**Never be the first to believe  
Never be the last to deceive  
Nobody's on nobody's side  
Never make a promise or plan  
**It's not like I promised to marry Ron anyway. I'm just going to have to take a chance on Draco and hope that it pays off. I guess I'm just going to be on nobody's side.

**Take a little love when you can  
Nobody's on nobody's side.**

_a/n: hope you enjoyed, just a little idea that came to me while I was studying. Please read and review!_


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